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Writer's pictureGreenpond Sneak

Smash Bros Ultimate | Useless Characters

I love Smash Bros. I really do! This is why I must write this cringe-worthy post, to display my fake outrage against a game that I chose to play. Maybe the creator(s) of this game will see my post and think, "hmm, this random person on the Internet has been complaining about the character roster, maybe we should listen to that random blogger". I...think...not!



I shall break down my reasoning as to why I picked these characters. I think my reasons are both petty and fun. But seriously, I have some good reasons for picking them.




https://metroid.fandom.com/wiki/Dark_Samus

Dark Samus


I am not a fan of the Metroid series, so I might be a little biased here, but do we really need 2 versions of Samus? I get that people want a little representation for their favorite games, but we already have the original Samus and her nemesis, Ridley. And don't get me started on the pretty-much naked Zero Suit Samus.






https://www.ssbwiki.com/Zero_Suit_Samus_(SSBU)

Zero-Suit Samus


Oh, wait! Here she is! The Fan-Service!!!


There is only one reason why they did this, and it is not a good reason. Oohhh, a lady with skin-tight clothes! That will really draw the boys in, and probably has and will keep on drawing them in. There is simply no reason why she should be on the roster. She is a sex symbol.





https://www.ssbwiki.com/Princess_Daisy

Daisy


Basically Princess Peach in Autumn colors. She almost sounds the same as the pink princess. She practically has the same moves as Peach. They could have the Hollow Knight or another Pokemon. Instead, they opted for Peach Clone #1. It seems like laziness to me. But what do I know, I am just one of the million of suckers.








https://www.ssbwiki.com/Lucas_(SSBU)


Lucas


Another boy genius who happens to be a pseudo-clone of Ness. What is Nintendo thinking? What happened to creativity and originality? I would understand if they are on a tight budget, but its Nintendo, I seriously doubt that they have money problems. So, what's the deal?









Dr. Mario, Dark Pit, and Sheik


At this point, they aren't even trying anymore. How is Dr. Mario a different person from regular Mario? And Dark Pit is just normal Pit gone evil. And we all know that Sheik is really Zelda. All I see is 3 spots that could have been given to 3 unique individuals. Instead, we get the clones.






https://www.ssbwiki.com/Young_Link_(SSBU)

Young Link


This is a new record for the game. There is not one, not two, but three versions of Link in Super Smash Bros! Why, just why, Nintendo? This Link can do everything the Adult version can. Why put him in? The Toon Link I can understand, but this is unforgivable here.






https://www.ssbwiki.com/Pichu_(SSBU)

Pichu


I hate this character! He/She might be cute, but this pokemon is such a impractical character. When I play a fighting game, I would rather not be playing a champion that hurts itself with basic moves. Every little lightning bolt, every little pika-chu!, does nothing but hurt the little thing. Pichu is bad, bad, bad!







https://www.ssbwiki.com/Lucina_(SSBU)

Lucina


I am kinda with the "Two Many Sword-wielders" group on this one. There is at least 14 swordsmen/swords-women in this game. There could have put Toadette or Goombella in the game. She is a so-so fighter, there is nothing special about her.








Corrin


Corrin is an insufferable moron. I really hate this character with a passion.















And there you have it! The characters I hate and the reasons why I hate them. Feel free to comment below and try to prove me wrong!


-LunaCore

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